These few days i still suffering from what i'm having now ...plus i have been crying for almost 2 weeks no 1 know about that because i duan anyone to worry about me ...what i can do is juz to write down what ever i wanted to say...even thought i tell them it makes them more worry seems like now the blog is now part of my diary and my only friend that hear me out without worries...i have been haunting by my past quite long + my heart pain worse and worse i think because when i think about my stuff my heartache then also affect my stomache pain...i been having problem sleeping these days and even dun have appetite to eat like everyday eat 1 bread then enuf dy or juz eat cereal till tomorrow ...even though if i try to eat i will eat half then i dun eat.....i dun even care bout myself i dunno y everyday i been thinking of him and the past i was thinking when can it end .. even though i know how much i confess also there is nothig call miracle ...so these days i been listening to song...sometimes i even cry listen to those songs that really hit my heart that really say what i am thinking now....i am a week person as many people know .... i think this is my first time i fall in love i mean the real 1 ..that because is so hard to forget but what to do i have to try to let go ....i did do a lot of stuff like onlining and know a lot more guys....to comfort myself...everything is like ok but dunno y when i juz receive like word or anything happen from him my heart goes pain ...i wanted really to care for him ...really T.T i dunno what i am now turning into ....even though he really dun care bout me i still care .....u know something is really hard to let go ..i dun even know this gonna be end ........am i that really bad in relatioship maybe because i din appreciate or something new that really come...i hate myself sometimes of being not strong ... i juz like ppl to care about me more like a baby... hope my sickness to be cure faster ....i'm like going crazy few days 'hang kei' everyday and heart paining....everyday what i do is lie on the bed or listen song and also on9....ahhhhhh.........a lot to say but juz for now till here la a lot stuff i need to say but is juz to hard for me ... be hiding myself and faking my smile these days...is for everyone good ...i care bout ppl more than me myself...i duan see ppl worry so what i do juz smile ....and act nothing happen..